Meet the Plastics

Regina George 

(the unofficial leader)

Janis: “And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don’t be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing ,slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she’s so much more than that.”

Damien: “She’s the queen bee — the star, those other two are just her little workers.”

Where to begin with Regina George? She is the girl everyone loves to hate — she’s gorgeous, popular and she’s a bitch. She has that badass behavior that every girl would love to have. She has her Inner Beyonce on full force. She speaks her mind and doesn’t care what anyone thinks, but most importantly, she always gets her way. Regina is the definition of the perfect teenage girl. However, this behavior should only be kept in high school — what happens in high school, stays in high school.


Gretchen Wieners

(Regina’s full-time follower)

Janis: “That little one, that’s Gretchen Wieners.”

Damien: “She’s totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.”

Janis: “Gretchen Wieners knows everybody’s business — she knows everything about everyone.”

Damien: “That’s why her hair is so big; it’s full of secrets.”

Every girl, for the most part, desires popularity in high school. Having other people look up to you, follow you and respect (or fear) you is what keeps you in control of any situation. Gretchen wishes for nothing more than being the it girl at school, but unfortunately for her, she hides under Regina’s shadow. Gretchen follows Regina’s every move, listening to every single word she says just to try to be on her level. Gretchen’s behavior around Regina is almost that of a puppy being trained by its owner. Being someone else’s puppet can only work for so long before the puppet eventually cuts the strings loose and gains its own individuality. Who better to explain that feeling than Regina’s ultimate puppet, Gretchen Wieners:

[in her English class essay, after being humiliated by Regina] “Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!” Way to tell them how you really feel, Gretchen.


Karen Smith

(the dumb one)

Janis: “That one there, that’s Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year.”

Damien: “She asked me how to spell orange.”

You can’t have it all right? If Karen was pretty, smart and popular, it  just wouldn’t be fair to the other teenage girls at school.  We’ll settle for her looks and popularity and eliminate intelligence. After all, she is blonde. To think that girls like Karen actually exist in real life, frightens me. Thank God for further education. Here are, in my opinion, some of her dumbest quotes:

1. “If you’re from Africa, why are you white?”

2. “It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain.”

3. So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins…”

It wasn’t always what she said, it was also what she did. The image below displays Karen’s attempt  to place the letter K on her chest for Spring Fling. She tried very hard.

To read more of Karen’s interesting conversions, click  here.


Cady Heron

(the newbie)

Cady: “I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that’s only because I was acting like a bitch.”

Regina: “Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you’re a home-schooled jungle freak, that’s a less hot version of me! Yeah, so don’t try to act so innocent!”

First they’re sweet, then they’re sour, then they ‘re sweet again — teenage girls. Cady Heron is a sweet, innocent white girl from  Africa who moves to the United States to find that high school is not any different from the jungle that used to be her home. It is all about the survival of the fittest. She involves herself with the popular crowd and realizes she likes it a little more than she should. Cady goes from jungle freak, to shiny, cold plastic. In her efforts to get revenge on Regina, like Janis wanted her to, she finds herself becoming a replica of Regina and all hell breaks loose. She loses her friends, her dream crush (Aaron Samuels) won’t even look at her, nobody at school likes her and her parents aren’t fond of her either. Moral of the story is don’t be a follower! Of course in the end Cady finds her happily ever after and regains her true essence. In her defense, being the new girl at school sucks! You have no friends and it is difficult to find out who you really are because every high school has a different culture. You mold yourself to please others, just like Cady did. Being a mean girl was the easiest transition for her. Good thing the mathletes came to the rescue.

Whether you love them, hate them, love to hate them or hate to love them, they will always be The Plastics.


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